Tuesday, May 17, 2011

It's the end of the world as we know it.

2011 AD—On May 21st, Judgment Day will begin and the rapture (the taking up into heaven of God’s elect people) will occur at the end of the 23-year great tribulation. On October 21st, the world will be destroyed by fire (7000 years from the flood; 13,023 years from creation).

If it wasn't for Facebook I wouldn't know most of what is going on in this world. For example, I probably would have completely missed the rapture. Fortunately, my Facebook friends have been posting and commenting on this life changing event for days now. There is even a Facebook 'event', "Post Rapture Looting", in which many of my friends seem to be ready to participate. Being rather naive about such things, I have spent the last couple days assuming the rapture meant the world was coming to an end. It wasn't until I took it upon myself to do a little Google research that I found the above and figured out that I actually have a few more months before my world is thrown into upheaval. I mean it's possible that I will be plucked up into heaven on Saturday, but it's likely that I will be left to slog out the last few months on earth with the other heathens.

Before I found the true meaning of rapture, I did some considering of what I might do if the world were in fact coming to an end in a mere 4 days.

Here's the list:
  1. Eat sugar, lots and lots of sugar. Chocolate, baby cheese cakes from Whole Foods, milkshakes, soft serve ice cream with lots of toppings.
  2. Fool around. Okay, I realize this is normally a g rated blog, but I'm just saying, if the world were coming to an end I might try to get a little action (not telling who).
  3. NOT go to work.
  4. Go shopping and just buy everything I like regardless of the cost, maxing all my credit cards. (This one might not actually be very interesting and there wouldn't be time to use/wear everything, but in the movies when they go on shopping sprees and end up with lots of pretty bags and boxes it always looks like fun.)
  5. Take a nap every day.
  6. Throw dinner parties every night with various people I really like (many of whom I am possibly to shy to invite over otherwise).
  7. Drink lots of wine at the dinner parties and maybe a Manhattan or two.
  8. Do lots of Crossfit (yes, I love it that much, though with all the sugar eating and wine drinking it might not actually be that much fun).
  9. Take Otto for long walks in the woods.
And that might be it! The good news is that I did many of those things on my staycation, which clearly means I'm living the dream. The bad news is that now I have to wait for October to carry out the plan.

Oh, and I hope our 6 months after the rapture aren't filled with storms, famines and other disasters, natural or otherwise.


nirvanashot said...

Sweet!!! Thanks for reminding that Rapture is this weekend. I haven't been logging into Facebook much, particularly since they are in a cat-fight with Google. I hate that biz-to-biz cat-fight shit.
With all of my recent decade of activity I am confident I will be left behind to loot with all of the others. OH JOY!!

Anonymous said...

Crap! Does this mean I've got to clean the bathroom now?