Monday, February 15, 2010

The 2010 Hedgehog Massacre

For 8 weekends now I have been out trimming, pruning, battling, cursing, and basically in hand to hand combat with my hedge. And every weekend, I not only have trimmed, pruned, battled, and cursed, but I have painstakingly cleaned up afterwards - making sure (mostly for sanity sake) that I only cut as much as I could stuff in the yard waste bin. Saturday I did the regular but I felt so very close to the end, that I thought today I would just pop out and finish up! Imagine my excitment at the thought of finishing such an onerous task!

Why doesn't she clean up this crap in the yard?

Then, something terrible happened. As I got closer and closer to the end, the hedge started to multiple. I am sure you think I am exaggerating for effect, but it's true. It was like one of those creepy science fiction movies where the vines start growing and entangling and eventually swoop someone up. As I neared the finish, the hedge got thicker and thicker, there were more and more branches and it expanded. Until finally, my theory that has kept me going so far, that if I just cut one branch at a time I'll power through, vanished without a trace, and I abandoned hope.

If this doesn't look like a science fiction horror film, I don't know what does.

I am not sure it is actually possible to finish this project. There is the ever increasing tail end which I still have to overcome. But, there are other issues too. In the middle, there are house tall trees of hedge that are in the green space. I'm pretty sure someone with a chain saw will need to forge into the green space to remove those. Until those are gone, my view will remain forever obscured.

House tall hedge, right out side the window, so sad.

But, let's be positive for a minute. Virtually all the hedge within my yard is trimmed until it is practically nude. And within a week or two, all the hedge crap will be cleared from my yard. So, there's that.

DONE! Except for a couple annoying stragglers I can't quite reach.

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